Sunday, August 31, 2014

Week 55 - "I felt a huge weight lift from my shoulders. It was sort of like these words 'You feel like you've had enough. Lay it all down. Take a good look around. My love can be seen in all directions. I long to hold you every second. Believe you will make it. Give your worry up. Let me take it.' ...I looked outside for a moment and saw the sunset. I smiled and felt His arms around me."

August 20, 2014

Howaya, my friends? Been a week, how have you been? It has been a long one for me. An eternity. In a good way. I think. We essentially walked and contacted and tried to meet the members. It is the smallest sector in the mision, which means we don't have much ground to cover, but we are working and hitting the pavement. We were talking the other day about how Hermana Reyes wants to visit the States to live without fences or gates. I have forgotten what it is like to live in an area without barriers. It is a weird sensation to forget things of your own home country where you lived for you entire life. And I also forget what I used to like to do before the mish, as well. You become so engrained and become a part of the mision life it is dificult to distinguish the before from the now.

This week, I have focused a lot on the theme of the faith. Faith is such an essential, fundamental thing that sometimes we forget is essential. The faith is the base. If we don't have a sound base, our entire structure will collapse when the trials and times of dificulty arise, we won't withstand the magnitude of even the smallest little trembles of the earth. We were teaching an investigadora, Bernarda, who has major problems in almost every area of her life. It is incredible the amount of troubles. She is bipolar, has depression, smokes, drinks, and because of abuse in her childhood has an attraction to women.... There are many interesting types of people here in this sector, Progreso. Anyway, we were teaching her and I shared Ether 12:27. It has become one of my favorites that gives me that extra boost I always need. I received what could be recognized as personal revelation. I have been struggling this week with being selfish. I kept wondering if anybody loved or cared for me, whether or not anybody wanted me around. In this sector I am in, or in Chile generally, people either don't like or love gringos. This sector, there are few who actually care for us. I believe they think we are not people or that we don't have brains. I started to think badly of myself and wonder if I had a purpose here. Meanwhile I taught this lesson, I felt a huge weight lift from my shoulders. It was sort of like these words ''You feel like you've had enough. Lay it all down. Take a good look around. My love can be seen in all directions. I long to hold you every second. Believe you will make it. Give your worry up. Let me take it.'' I don't remember exactly the words, but something around there. In this house, I looked around, I looked outside for a moment and saw the sunset. I smiled and felt His arms around me. I felt His peace in that room with smoke-absorbed walls. I couldn't deny the power and reality of His love.

We are far from home. We don't get attention directly from friends and parents and brothers and sisters. We are living on pure faith. We are put through physical, mental and spiritual trials daily. We fight on the side of righteousness with only the scriptures and the Spirit as our guides. We sometimes feel like we aren't giving enough. We feel a bit inadequate. We are 18-25 year old youth and we are expected to represent Jesus Christ. We aren't perfect. But in our inperfection, God called us. He also qualifies us. It is hard, it is stressful and it is totally worth it. I love that I know that God lives. I love knowing that this is literally His church and He guides it. I love Jesus Christ and for His comfort. I am grateful for every moment I fall into a pit because when I climb out, I am stronger and have even more experience.

I love you all. I hope you feel and recognize the whisperings of the Spirit. Because He really does talk to us. 

Have a great week!

Hermana Castleton 

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